May I have your attention, please? I think every meeting or interaction should start this way. And here’s why…
Sitting in a networking meeting this morning, I was surrounded by close to fifty people. Passing a microphone around each table, announcements and thanks were being shared. People thanked each other for passing along referrals, for helping family and friends, and for spending time one-on-one over coffee, lunch or golf outings.
As I looked around the room during this sharing of thanks, I was incredulous to see more than half a dozen people checking their phones; some were doing it on the sly, keeping their hands below table level. A few others were more obvious about it, sitting there typing, using the table to rest their elbows.
I have to assume they were texting or checking email.
The thing is, as far I knew, none of these folks are EMTs, brain surgeons (no offense), or in any professional where things are that urgent. At least, that’s the judgement I was making from where I was sitting.
As a passenger in the car this weekend, I saw half a dozen people who were driving while checking their phones. Again, I assume they were texting or checking email. At best, they were using their GPS to find their way.
And frankly, I find all of this disturbing.
Where is there a sacred space where using our phones covertly or overtly is not considered ok?
Have we become a people so acclimated to having our phones near us or physically in our hands that we cannot focus on one thing – like driving, attending a meeting, or listening to a guest speaker share their ideas?
It makes me wonder, too, when people refuse to put their phones away during meetings, therapy sessions, or coaching appointments. Is no time sacred? Is the ability to listen and focus a lost art?
Does no one care?
How have the messages (email, text, etc.) become more important than the actual real live person sitting or standing in front of you?
What is SO urgent that we can’t be without our phones ever, much less for an hour meeting?
I think we’ve reached a dangerous place – a place where we are constantly stimulated to react to dings, bells, and vibration alerts, so frighteningly like Pavlov’s dogs.
We’ve reached an unproductive place where multi-tasking allows us to feel like we’re getting things done, but nothing is being done well.
We’ve reached a desperately sad place where focusing on the people in front of us clearly isn’t more important than the next email, phone call, or text message.
And we’ve reached a dangerous place where half-attention is the best we’re going get from each other.
If business today really is moving towards a place where electronic messages are king and where electronic messages takes precedence over focused interaction one-on-one with people, then I don’t want to be in this business of business anymore.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.
- Are you seeing what I’m seeing?
- Am I being over sensitive about it?
- Is technology consuming our time and attention in a negative way?
- How have you been impacted negatively or positively by this?
Do share in the comments below!
Sincerely,
Angie
I agree, Angie, on several fronts. First, we need to learn to practice focus – especially on the people in the same room with us. As the old saying goes, “wherever you are—be there!”
Second, we’ve become like Pavlov’s dog, salivating everytime we hear the ring tone, see the flashing light, or feel the vibration of a message. I say we start turning the darn things OFF during meetings.
Third, many people have forgotten basic manners. Answering calls during dinner, ignoring the person before you to take a call, things like that are just rude (unless you are a brain surgeon on call). Let’s be civilized!
I think we’ve become so “accessible” that we’re no longer really “available”
to the people who need us most. Sad.
Angie,
This is also a pet peeve of mine especially since I live with three teenagers. They are the worst I think. They think if they don’t answer a text immediately the person won’t like them or think they are rude.
So we have a few rules about cell phones in our home
1. No phones at the dinner table.
2. No phones while watching a family movie (this one is sometimes hard to enforce)
3. No looking at your phone when another family member is speaking to you.
4. No talking on the phone while driving (texting is understood as a no-no)
I do wonder how my children’s generation will communicate effectively since they do so much of it electronically. Will they be able to communicate with their spouse over a difficult issue? Will they hide behind their cell phones afraid to really speak their minds?
I encourage them to talk to me and my husband as much as possible. I try to model good cell phone etiquette. But only time will tell if my efforts pay off.
Thanks for the post and the reminder.
Monique
Angie,
I completely agree with your outrage around this behavior. In self defense (since I was at that meeting), I do use a cell phone for note-taking. I do wonder if using a tablet with a pen would look like I’m more focused then punching keys on a screen?
In the meantime, I’m taking a more philosophic view of the situation. See, I think Darwinian evolution will start to kick in and eliminate the businesses who get bogged down in the immediacy and lose sight of the long-term. You can’t be doing the intensive long-term thinking needed to survive in business while being constantly interrupted.
As you point out, email should not be a means for urgent or important communication. Just yesterday I was talking to another business owner about their frustration hiring a local freelancer who was not making himself readily available — instead choosing to communicate via email rather than reach out with a simple phone call.
I’ll end with an old quote from Marshall McLuhan which I think is most appropriate for the situation we’re seeing today:
“The future masters of technology will have to be light-hearted and intelligent. The machine easily masters the grim and the dumb.”
William