I LOVE the words: Self-Centered, Selfish, and Self-Absorbed.
The more I’ve gotten to understand myself, the more compassion and deep, true love I have for myself.
Here’s why:
As a kid in a military family, I moved A LOT. Being the new kid in situations had me scanning for “danger” and having to learn “the rules” for the new places I was plopped into.
As a kid, I had a strict mom. Her goal was to keep us kids safe, especially in these new places we were a plopped into.
And as a kid, I tended to be fairly naturally introverted – quiet libraries were my favorite places, followed by anywhere outdoors, and I loved hanging out with horses or cats or dogs. I liked the peace and safety I felt in those places and with those more-than-human beings.
As an adult, though, I started to see problems with the coping mechanisms I put in place to survive. I was great at being invisible and quiet (even to the point of chronically holding my breath). I could assess people and situations very quickly but I didn’t open up and share what I thought about very easily. I was hyper-independent, rigid, and overly-organized (all nervous systems responses – also known as coping mechanisms – by the way).
Which led me to some not great habits that pushed people away.
Which led me to therapy and coaching. Which led me to having to look deeply at MYSELF.
What did I need?
What did I want?
What did I dream of?
What did I desire?
And answering these questions NOT based on family, or friends, or situations, or locations.
Just ME. My Self. From my Center.
It’s been years of “un-doing” and “un-becoming.”
And now my practice is to be genuinely Self-Centered, Selfish, and Self-Absorbed. In the “Big S” self way as one who strives to be calm, connected, compassionate, curious, confident, creative, clear, and courageous towards myself, my parts, and others. Hello IFS!
Because the happier, more fulfilled, and more peaceful I am, the more I want to extend a hand to others so they can learn how to live life this way, too.
Because I know the happier, more fulfilled, and more peaceful THEY are, the more THEY will extend a hand to others to help in their specific life-giving ways with their gifts and talents, too.
Healing ripples out.
And I’m here for it!
How about you?
Warmly,
Angie