I’m always fascinated by studies that explain why we do what we do. And yesterday morning’s radio segment about our various electronics devices didn’t disappoint.
In my work with you, I routinely ask you to turn off all the alerts from your various mobile devices. No more dings, beeps, buzzes, vibrations, bells, etc.
And you mostly refuse.
And I thought you refused because of FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out).
Turns out, you refuse to turn those things off because of pleasure. Because of the possibility of pleasure.
Wow.
See, whenever you’re near these devices (phone, tablet, laptop, etc.), you’ve trained your brain to respond to the noises they make. And whenever you hear them – or even THINK about them – your brain releases a little bit of dopamine. And you’re smart enough to know that dopamine is a pleasure drug. It makes you feeeeeel good.
So, I’m fighting an uphill battle aren’t I, when I ask you to turn off those alerts. After all, why should you deny yourself pleasure?
Except….
Too much of a good thing becomes a bad thing. It becomes distracting. All consuming. Addicting even.
Everything in moderation, I say.
I fully understand the value of these little pleasure boxes. Yet, I also understand the other side – the Dark Side.
The Dark Side is dangerous, damaging, and can be deadly in some circumstances. Think texting and driving. Checking email while driving.
More importantly, it’s damaging to a relationship when you ignore or give half your attention to the person in front of you because you’re reacting to the noises the pleasure box is making.
I’d wager we’ve gotten the pleasure equation wrong. We should find pleasure in relationships. Get a little blast of dopamine when our kids smile at us, when our pets greet us at the door. When we gather with our team each day. When we hug our families. When we see our favorite clients.
Not when we’re clutching or touching those shiny pleasure boxes.
My request to you today: spend 10 minutes turning off those alerts. Decide instead the people around you deserve your attention. Decide instead the work you do to serve the people around you deserve the best of your attention.
If you don’t know how to turn those alerts off, or if you’re scared to do it, I can help.
Sincerely,
Angie
P.S. It was absolutely no accident that while I was typing this, my kitten crawled into my lap for some petting time. I deliberately chose to stop writing this and give him some love. And the dopamine rush I got from it? Divine!
P.P.S. I will share that it’s part of my passion and mission in life and work to change society’s focus from “stuff” to focus on people. I believe we give too much energy to our stuff and don’t invest enough in the people right in front of us. Simplifying, organizing, and being deliberate with how we spend our time is deeply important to me and is part of the way I hope to impact you (and the world).
P.P.P.S. Have some thoughts to share on this subject? Please, please comment below!